It was later in the evening, after Popstar’s siblings had already gone to bed. We were snuggling in the family room when Popstar turns to me and states
“Mommy, I hate your school.”
Wow, we were having such a nice night, then wham! “Why do say that?” I asked, already knowing the answer. She went on to question why I can’t just quit school, forget about getting a job, and stay at home with her.
Breaks my heart every time this comes up. How do you explain in seven year old language, why I need to work. I’ve told her how much I enjoy school and I want her to see how rewarding a fulfilling career can be. She doesn’t care. I remind her that our lifestyle, including all of her fun activities, is more enjoyable when both mommy and daddy work. She doesn’t care. I try to make time for some one-on-one time daily, but it’s never enough.
I don’t want to burden her with details that shouldn’t concern her, so how do I know how much information to share. She will ask things like, how much does our house cost? Or, how much did our truck cost? I don’t think she should be concerning herself with these things and sharing them with her friends, but at the same time, I want her to appreciate and respect these necessities. I guess her concept of money and appreciating it’s value isn’t real strong, yet.
Is seven the right age to start receiving an allowance? Maybe that would help Popstar start connecting value to purchases. My hesitation is that I do not want her to expect to be paid for contributing to the household. As a member of our family, she needs to want to share the responsibilities; not be bribed into it.
What do you do? I’d love to hear from you.
I remember, while growing, starting to get an allowance. I already had some minor chores, like picking up the backyard after the dog, so my parents explained that with the new chores came new responsibilities, like putting away the dishes from dinner. You might want to try approaching it from that angle. Popstar is getting older and able to handle more responsibility.
I think all of us who are Mom’s and students are having the same issues. I too have kids at home, and I don’t think it matter’s the age they are both affected, the high school freshman needs me there because she is experiencing things for the first time ever that needs a mom, and the little one just want’s mom. Doesn’t matter what the reason she just want’s Mom. I think all you can do is try to tell them that all this hard work and the last 12 mos will all be worth it in the end. I created a count down board so now we make a game of it, with different pit stops, which are either 4 hour blocks of time just for them and mom or 10 minute stops for tucking into bed or reading a book. They both just needed to be reassured that I still loved ‘em and was still mom, just busier.