Happy Holidays!

We are getting close to Christmas break. Popstar is looking forward to the Holiday Sing and classroom parties. The snow is here. And, along with all the fun comes holiday stress. We’ve been cleaning and organizing. Sorting out donations. Tossing out broken toys. And I’ve been going a bit crazy trying to convince everyone to maintain our efforts. As the kids get older, their toys get more expensive. They have more (delicate) parts. It’s hard to get them to make good decisions, but better to instill these values now, rather than try to backtrack later on. Children need to have fun, but they also need to learn how to manage their belongings, make reasonable requests and be able to earn rewards. I want my children to grow up feeling empowered, not entitled.

The NEW & IMPROVED logo!

Check out my iPod logo redesign!

This week I have kept very busy (and my 7 year old will attest to that!) finishing up final requirements for this semester. Here is a logo redesign I submitted this week for my Web Integration course. Popstar loves creating digital art; it will be so interesting to see what she creates 10 years from now.

New Glasses

Popstar has been getting headaches at school. Go figure. Both my husband and I had glasses by the second grade, so Popstar’s declining sight was no surprise. What was surprising was how excited she was to go pick them out. She went in and started trying every frame on, addressing her mission with focus and determination. Shortly after we arrived she had found the one and there was no discussing it. They look adorable; not what I had in mind, but adorable just the same. I envisioned little wire frames, kind of preppy I guess. She would have no part of that. She picked out a contemporary narrow frame; very modern. From the iCarly (Disney) line, I believe. I would not have chosen that particular style, but I must admit she picked the perfect pair to enhance her face and her personality.

I remember dreading getting glasses way back when. Of course I had the braces, headgear, and rubber bands to go with them. Did I mention I was tiny bit chunky, and my mother thought she knew how to cut hair?! The best money I ever spent was on Lasik for correcting my vision. The convenience is so worth the expense. And I assured Popstar we would correct her’s too, when she’s grown up. Many, many, many years from now.

Christmas wishes

Holidays are so stressful sometimes. Popstar has been asking for so many things for Christmas; finally, I had to ask her to prioritize her wish-list. The prize at the top of her list was a Nintendo DS. Wonderful, I thought; Nobody’s employed at our house, so of course this is the year Popstar discovers high-priced gaming. Joy! If that’s what she wants, I’ll find a way, but I need her to understand that as the gifts get more expensive, the number of presents under the tree diminishes. She smiled and agreed, but I wasn’t convinced.

Later, that weekend, we went to see Santa. It was a really great time. Everyone was happy and getting along. Popstar’s younger sister asked Santa for drums, and her younger brother asked for a roller coaster for his zoom zooms. Popstar asked Santa for a DS. After, we were walking around cashing in the Santa tokens for prizes, when Popstar turned to me and said,

“Mommy, a DS is really expensive. I hope Santa brings me one, but I don’t want you to. If you would get me a new bathrobe, that would make me just as happy.”

Yep, I was tearing up right there in the middle of the mall. Popstar had had her eye on her sister’s High School Musical bathrobe for quite some time. But, come on… a bathrobe can’t really compete with a DS. It’s moments like these that remind me she’s growing into such a beautiful young girl.

Working Moms

It was later in the evening, after Popstar’s siblings had already gone to bed. We were snuggling in the family room when Popstar turns to me and states

“Mommy, I hate your school.”

Wow, we were having such a nice night, then wham! “Why do say that?” I asked, already knowing the answer. She went on to question why I can’t just quit school, forget about getting a job, and stay at home with her.

Breaks my heart every time this comes up. How do you explain in seven year old language, why I need to work. I’ve told her how much I enjoy school and I want her to see how rewarding a fulfilling career can be. She doesn’t care. I remind her that our lifestyle, including all of her fun activities, is more enjoyable when both mommy and daddy work. She doesn’t care. I try to make time for some one-on-one time daily, but it’s never enough.

I don’t want to burden her with details that shouldn’t concern her, so how do I know how much information to share. She will ask things like, how much does our house cost? Or, how much did our truck cost? I don’t think she should be concerning herself with these things and sharing them with her friends, but at the same time, I want her to appreciate and respect these necessities. I guess her concept of money and appreciating it’s value isn’t real strong, yet.

Is seven the right age to start receiving an allowance? Maybe that would help Popstar start connecting value to purchases. My hesitation is that I do not want her to expect to be paid for contributing to the household. As a member of our family, she needs to want to share the responsibilities; not be bribed into it.

What do you do? I’d love to hear from you.

Lunch Bunch

Popstar’s 2nd grade class does an activity monthly called Lunch Bunch. Each child is assigned to a group and on a special day each month they may have a relative join them for lunch in the classroom. Popstar called me on Tuesday, from school, to remind (inform) me that it was her day. So, like every other mom in her group, I rush up to McDonald’s to grab her a Happy Meal and zip over to the school. I actually arrived early (3 minutes) and I select a seat for us. All the other children begin filing in to greet their mom’s… but no Popstar. After a minute or two I began to search for her; turns out she’s in the hot lunch line in the cafeteria! We rush back to her classroom and settle in with the other moms and children at our (now very crowded) table. And, Popstar begins playing with a younger sibling of one of her friends, her Happy meal and I quickly forgotten. I know, boo hoo; it’s about her not about me. Funny though, as soon as we sat down to dinner that night, Popstar couldn’t say enough good things about her adventure with Mommy.

It’s amazing how quickly children find their independence. Lunch Bunch really is a quick fun way to be a part of your child’s school life. It allows you to see them in their school environment, see who they gravitate towards and also it gives you an opportunity to meet more of the moms/dads. I’d love hear some of your favorite activities at your child’s school. I’m always looking for new ideas.

Popstar is 7 years old!

Hi World! My name is Michelle and I am creating this blog to connect with other parents of seven year old children. I want to share my experiences, trials and errors, and super mom moments. And, I definitely want to hear about yours, too! Please enjoy my posts and comment often.

My oldest daughter, whom I will refer to as Popstar, turned seven this week. Wow! We celebrated with a family night out and then she was able to invite over three friends for a slumber party. Do you think seven is too young for a sleep-over?

I wasn’t sure, and my daughter was determined. It would only be a few close friends; how bad could it be? She has had sleep-overs before (one on one), but never as a group. I decided to allow it; here’s how it went…

The night started out well, but did present a few challenges. There was plenty of enthusiasm in the beginning. We had pizza, and then cake and ice cream. After, we did a small craft activity, and then Popstar opened her gifts. At this point, I had planned for the girls to free play. But, there was conflict on what to do. And, her friends didn’t want her sister to be involved. At one point one guest decided not to talk to anyone except Popstar’s four year old brother. They act so mature… until they don’t! We worked it out and, besides a few minor squabbles, had a wonderful time.

Popstar’s birthday brought up a few questions in my mind. I want to give my daughter the world, but I don’t want to raise a child that feels entitled either. I want her to be responsible, but not burdened. I want her to have fun, but be appreciative. I want to spoil her, but I want her to be thankful. Is any of this possible?

Back to the birthday… Gifts; what is an appropriate gift for a seven year old these days? She had asked for numerous things including a cellular phone and a guitar (a wooden one with real strings, NOT electric; very specific details!). She also asked to get her ears pierced. She thought it would be great if we could buy her all these things. She also asked for a FurReal Cat, some Barbie dolls and accessories, anything Hannah Montana, and the list goes on…

At seven, I feel it is time to set a birthday expectation guideline. So, where do I draw the line? How much is too much to spend on a birthday? My husband and I agreed that the guitar was something she really wanted and had been asking for often over the entire last year. We decided on the guitar and the Hannah Montana movie. The cell phone was out of the question. I feel that the responsibility of a cell phone cannot be appreciated by a seven year old. I realize some children at this age may have them, out of necessity, but there is no reason for my daughter to so why would I?

As far as the ear piercing, I have responded to this with a challenge. I consider this to be a privilege, therefore, it must be earned. There is a big responsibility attached to piercing your ears, especially in the beginning when the ears need to be cleaned and the earrings turned several times daily. And, Popstar has younger siblings that could choke on an earring if found left on the floor.

I suggested that she could prove that she was mature enough for the responsibility by taking on a few tasks around the house. I’m not instilling slave labor, just asking that she take initiative when she sees something that she can handle. This may be taking clothes to the laundry room that were left on the floor, or making her bed without being asked. Do you think this is a fair approach? I originally told her when she was ten she could have them pierced, but she kept insisting causing me to reconsider. Should I have stuck to the age concept, or allow her to earn it?

I guess I worry my daughter has unrealistic expectations because the role models she watches on TV. She loves the shows that star Miley Cirus, Selena Gomez, and Demi Lavoto. These girls are not in the second grade. They face issues my child doesn’t need to contemplate. Yet these are the same role models/television shows her friends watch. She’s too old for Barney and Sesame Street. Where are the shows for the 7-12 year olds?

Wow, I’ve really jumped around a lot; how about a poll?

I hope you’ll share your thoughts regarding any of the topics/questions in my post. I’d love to here from you; please leave a comment and join me again next week for more seven year old insight.

Thanks, Michelle